Wednesday, June 26, 2013

"Ape Shall Never Kill Ape" Amended At Last

Lawgiver image from
Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Today The Lawgiver's Council concluded its deliberations for the year. In a break with hoary tradition, the Council made a 5 to 4 decision to amend the ancient law "Ape Shall Never Kill Ape" as follows:

Ape Shall Never Kill Ape
Ape Shall Never Kill Human
Human Shall Never Kill Human
Human Shall Never Kill Ape

Chimpanzee Jurist and self-proclaimed "Guerrilla lawyer" Cannabis took to the Council steps after the decision was announced. As chief among the Advocates for Change, Jurist Cannabis celebrated the decision, declaring:

"Now everyone in our nation can move forward as an equal. We are all The Lawgiver's children. Our polity will no longer be just a hairier mirror image of Forbidden City values. We need to leave the old prejudices to wither and die in the Forbidden Zone. From this day forward each of us sees the Ape - and the Human - in the other."